KIA HARI TE TAU HOU!

...which is Maori for Blwyddyn Newydd Dda.

Though it has been Newydd Dda for a few hours longer here. Not that I did anything about it! Tis inconceivable (that word does mean what I think it means)! I have a cold at New Year's. Again. Millionth year in a row. Twas pissing it down harder than I've ever seen it in Franz last night so I probably wouldn't have gone out if I didn't have a cold! Watched Runaway Bride and went to Bedfordshire. Hard core!

Today was much shinier though. No rain, so far. Went walkabouts up Canavan's knob (don't laugh) again but took the camera this time. Cue the obligatry show-off pictures of the very warm and shiny new year's day:

I think this is a New Zealand Robin. Took lots of pictures of this dude. Maybe he thought I was a papparazzo. Work it.

The shiny, shiny Tasman sea. Source of the excessive amount of rain.

Bridge Over the River Waiho.

The source of everyone's dosh.

I still feel really manky so I'll bugger off and watch Pretty Woman and have awesome ice cream. It's not Ben and Jerry's but it'll do.
E noho ra chuck (toodle oo).

So this is Christmas...

...and what have you done? Scrubbed loos mostly.

And got sunburn YES sunburn! on Christmas eve! Mostly from yesterday though. I went walkabouts somewhere incredibly shiny and forgot my camera. I didn't think I'd go wanders that far but I did. Numpty. I walked up Canavan's Knob. Don't laugh. Ooooo shiny it were. I could see the sea from the top! And actual proper seagulls! And keas! Have I mentioned how awesome the birds are here? Probably but I'll say it again. They're awesome. In the UK if you come a-moseying through the wood and happen upon a small passerine, it flies off shrieking and yelling and generally having an avian freak-out. Here, they come and have a closer look. I'd just stopped to admire the view and get my breath back when I saw a tomtit, don't laugh, on a branch a few metres away. It then proceeded to get closer and closer to me by flying from branch to branch, just in case I was a really big insect it could eat.




I don't care that there's Christmas movies on TV every day, or music in all the shops or tinsel on everything that sits still long enough, even tuis. It is not Christmas! One does not go round whinging about the excessive heat on Christmas eve. Or wear flip flops, unless one wants to lose one's toes to frost bite.




And just to rub it in further, this is what this afternoon by the river looked like:

Hopefully the bus that rides the information superhighway will be open tomorrow so I can post more show-off pictures of the heat and flip flops.

If not:

A Merry 25th of December to all!

I always wanted to work with kiwis....

....and now I am, sort of. Cuddly ones, ones on keyrings, tea towels, t shirts and whatnot. Just finished my first day at the souvenir shop. Took two weeks but I finally have another job! Just as it starts to get sunny and isn't raining horizontally all day. Yargh.

Been in Franz two weeks now. The place is really nice, the house is ok and the work is duff.
Been walkabouts a few times, when it wasn't raining excessively. If someone from Wales thinks it's raining excessively, then it really is. They measure rainfall in metres here. But aye, went walkabouts in an actual rainforest. Not a tropical one but it was still awesome with enormous ferns and moss hanging off everything. Been to see the glacier too. It's quite grubby but still amezzin. Apart from that I've not been up to much really. Reading a lot because I couldn't go out in the afternoon. But it's getting nicer so when I'm not walking I can go walkabouts.

The birds are amazing here too. New Zealand can't just have ridiculously huge mountains, lakes and ferns, it has to have monstrous pigeons! They're like the size of a buzzard, almost! Definitely the size of our chickens, but able to fly. Not very gracefully though as many times I've nearly been brained by one whooshing out of a tree. Lots of tuis around as well, and I saw a New Zealand Pipit, which was ornithologically awesome.

So until something else comes up, I'm in Franz Josef till February-ish.

Franz Josef!

...is, like just about everywhere in NZ, awesome. I'm getting a bit sick of saying awesome, fantastic, amazing all the time. Because everywhere is all those things! Sickeningly shiny the whole way. Except Hamilton. Ew.

Flew to Queenstown from Auckland. Didn't have a window seat but managed to nick other people's when they were in the loo. Awe-inspiring views of the Southern Alps and the plains. If it wasn't for the cloud I could have seen all of the south island from the pacific to the Tasman sea! Astonishing.
Queenstown's nice but don't think I could live there. Everyone's a bit too 'woohoo!' there, if you see. Bit like living in Penbryn. The hostel was nice but on the top of a fecking MASSIVE hill. Superlative views of the lake and the mountains though. Will definitely have to go back when I've got more dosh.

I thought an 8hr bus ride would be hellish, but then I only had UK bus rides as a frame of reference. On a NZ coach trip you hardly sit down for two hours! Set of at 8, stopped at 10 for a short while in Wanaka by the lake, then a cafe for half an hour, then by Thunder Creek falls, then a cliff over the tasman where we could see fur seals then a salmon farm cafe where I fed some huge fish. I came prepared with three magazines and two books but I didn't read a thing and hardly slept because I was too busy staring out the window going' wow!' and 'holy crap that's awesome!' at the magnificent views of mountains, ice-blue rivers, forests and whatnot. Sometimes outloud lol. And the whole way the driver did a commentary on things we were passing, local history, how the mountains were formed and whatnot. Formidable.

Got here at 4ish. The motel's nice, the house is...not so much. It's ok though, it'll do. And I met a cat! I travelled all the way to t'other side o't'planet to fuss a cat and watch Neighbours.
Going to mooch about the town now, both streets of it! I start at 09.30 tomorrow and I'm going to look for some work in the afternoon or evenings. And as soon as I can I'm going to mosey over to the glacier. Exalting.

Enough with the thesaurus. It's all awesome.

Back from Rotorua

I'm back in the big city from Rotorua. Urgh that was a foul bus journey, and I've got one double to time on Thursday. 8 hours on a coach! There's a couple of rest stops, but still! Yargh! I'll get DVT.

But anyway, Rotorua (or Rotorua as they say in Maori, it's different) was awesome! I stayed in the Astray backpackers which was nice enough, and had the room to myself for three nights! I could snore as loud as I wanted! Germans be damned!

On the first day there, Friday, I went aalll the way up to Rainbow Springs to take pictures of Darroch Street then walked miles and miles and miles down the main road to find Steeles Lane. Rotorua's really not made for people with no transport other than legs, or less than $50. So when I'm back in May I shall come prepared and slightly more loaded! I've yet to Zorb! I didn't come all the way to New Zleand to NOT roll down a hill in a big plastic ball. T'would be mad not to. They also have floatplanes on the lake. DeHavillands, no less! Not that that means anything to anyone....

On Saturday I took a mooch about the lake. Oooo it's a nice lake. And huge! Lots of awesome birds too. Lots of red-beaked gulls, which weirdly enough sound exactly like black-headed ones. Why is it there's only three species of gull in New Zealand, yet millions in the Palearctic? There was also an island with hundreds of shags (no giggling, mother). Pied, Black and Little Black ones. And because I am awesome and get to have two springs there were lots of wee chicks about as well! Moseyed on round to the museum where I learned that Lake Rotorua is the oldest continually existing lake in New Zealand. Suck on that, Taupo! Also, the city is entirely with the crater of a volcano, formed after an eruption 220,000 years ago. See, I didn't just come to New Zealand to zorb and drink lemon and paeroa, though those are good reasons because lemon and paeroa is amezzin.
I also had a look at the bits of geological awesomeness that you can see for free, which isn't much. It didn't smell as bad as I'd heard. I was disappointed. I thought there would be retching in the street but not once did I retch, other than from the smell of my shoes. Chuh. Either my sense of smell has been deadened from years of living with Salem or the smell really did disappear the day the Pearsons left.....who knows?

Why is it whenever I go somewhere I always manage to happen upon some kind of local shindig? In Paris there was that big do at the Arc de Triomphe. And in Rotorua there was Diwali. I'd overheard someone in the tourist info place saying there would be fireworks by the lake at 9pm so I moseyed on down there to wait and was idly watching fireworks on the other side of the lake when all these people came marching along, drumming and dancing and whatnot. I had no idea what was occurring but watched anyway. Then the fireworks started and they obviously don't have the same kind of regulations in NZ as they do in the UK, if at all, because they were way closer than at any British display, and consequently, even more awesome.

On Sunday I got up late (benefit of having the room to myself: no idiots rustling in their bags at 6am) and wanted to finish my book (Jonathon Strange and Mr Norrell. Which is as awesome and lemon and paeroa and more so!), so I didn't go out till 12. Went back up to Rainbow Springs to do the Kiwi Experience, and twas quite an experience! I saw a chick that had only hatched their night before needless to say, the glass was covered with my brains as my head did actually splode from teh kyoot. Boom. The Kiwi Experience people take the eggs of north island brown kiwi and incubate them there, look after the chicks and release them back into the wild when they're big enough. Those people get to hug kiwis for a living. I must find a way to work there. Also saw two adult kiwis that they use for captive breeding. They're huge!

On Monday I got the bus to Ngongongongatahahahaha, or some such, to look for Gomez Corner but three women at three shops and three maps couldn't help so I walked aaaallll the way back down to Rainbow Springs to look at the fishes. Rainbow Springs is a park full of native plants, huge redwood trees, aviaries of native birds like kea and kaka and tuis and pool full of enormous trout. Also a slightly surly donkey who begrudgingly let me fuss him. Is there any better kind of donkey?

And then today I got the bus back to Auckland. Tomorrow I'm flying off to Queenstown (town, not land, I keep saying land. It's confusing). And then the joy and excitement of an 8 hour coach trip to Franz Josef where I start work in the 58oncron motel.

Oooo me scalp

It is burned. Burned to a crispy crisp. Mercury has nothing on my head. Nothing, I say!
For today I did venture forth unto Rangitoto Island. I loves me some facts:

• formed 600 years ago
• summit is 260m above sea level
• 2311 hectares
• crater is 60m deep and 200m wide
• source is 125km below the earth's surface
• largest pohutukawa forest in the country

And is awesome, that too is a fact.

The leaflet said the walk to the summit takes 1hr but they didn't reckon with the awesome laziness of The Liz! Took me two. But then I did keep having to stop and look at birds (and to breathe). They're not exactly tame, the birds here, but they're a lot more 'engaging' than UK ones. They don't just leg it at the first sight of you.

I did finally get to the top and ee gads it was fantastic. Amazing views of the city and the islands in the gulf and all the forest. Would post pics but can't upload them yet. Might be able to tomorrow.

And now I'm off to have me tea and maybe go up the skytower. Depends how cloudy it is. It's actually been rainingtoday! I didn't come all the way to New Zealand for flipping rain! That wasn't in the brochure!

Bloody lack of pictures

I was waiting to post when I had pictures to put up but thanks to them being HUGE they take too long to upload. For now, tis but textual.

I shall tell you where I've been and whatnot but first, the birds I have seen:
silvereye, pied shag, black swan, puku (or summut), tui, indian myna, red-billed gull, black-billed gull, black-backed gull, wellcome swallow, australian coot, a shellduck who's name I don't remember and a kea behind some bars. And billions of sparrows!
Seriously, sparrows are everywhere! In trees, on the streets, on the bins, in cafes, on my hand almost. I thought to meself 'why could this be?' then noticed I the complete lack of herring gulls. A large city by the sea with lots of food and rubbish but none of the noisy strutting bastards that call themselves larus argentatus. But then, there is also a total absence of chavs so maybe they're to blame. Who knows? Well, I do, but still.

This is what the Liz has been up to:
FRIDAY: The Liz went up the skytower. Oooo it's big. And high! There's a glass panel in the lift floor so you can see the ground disappear as you shoot up. Amazing views though. Thinking of going up tomorrow night to see the fireworks. Had lunch up there too. Mooched about the town for the rest of the day and went back to the hostel early as I was stricken with knackereditis.

SATURDAY: I was skint. Almost and completely doshless thanks to bank-related cock-ups. So I did whatever was cheap, namely sitting in a park and going to the library. Their library is awesome though. Manky weather anyway.

SUNDAY: Was no skint. HURRAH! So I went to the museum. There were some bits about Pacific people and the war and whatnot but I was all 'woteva' and legged it straight to the natural history bit. Ooooo it was good. They had live animals! There was a bit with a rockpool and ENORMOUS crayfish/.lobsters that you could actually stand over on glass. Amezzin. There were also rats called Darwin, Wallace and Huxley. Genius. If I ever get three rats, or indeed cats, I should like to call them Alfred, Russell and Wallace. Genius. Mooched about the Domain (a big park) for a bit then went and saw How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, based on a book which I could have wrotten. How crap is it that I can't really remember what I did. It wasn't that long ago. I'm sure there was something else. Ah nuts and on to:

MONDAY: Was yesterday so I should remember what I did do. And I do! Went to Kelly Tarlton's Antarctic Experience, which is basically the sea life centre ON ACID! First there was a bit all about Antarctic exploration which I found very fascinating indeed being as I am a nerd and love that sort of thing. But then I ventured forth unto the stingray pool. I was expecting your average sized ray, like the ones you used to be able to touch in the pools at the sea life centre. But these bastard were seriously MASSIVE.
No, MASSIVE!
There was a guy in the pool feeding him and how he wasn't fearing for his life I do not know. They must have been 5m long and at least 3m wide. There was also a huge turtle and a snowcat ride with some extremely awesome penguins. J'ame le penguin. Beaucoup. Then back into town and caught a ferry to Devonport where I mooched in bookshops and sat on the beach and read a book about tramping. That’s as in walking, not the other thing.

TODAY: Today I got up a bit late so I didn't do an awful much but I did go to the zoo. Oh I do love a zoo. And I did not see a kiwi (The Liz's new life-long dream is to hug a kiwi. Look at a kiwi. Don’t you want to hug it? Yes, yes you do). But I did see a tuatara, and lions, hippos, servals and whatnot. And some elephants who refused to go the right way when being walked from their enclosure to the keepers but and plonked their arses on the grass.

And here I be. Typing as quick as I can because I’m running out of minutes so I shall bit ye a swift toodle oo.

Toodle oo

I'm here!

I'm in actual Auckland! How the hell did that happen?
In bullet points because I don't know how much time I have left on this computer:

*Nearly didn't get here because of the first October snow in London for 70 years!
*Flights were OK. Saw Get Smart, Son of Rambow and got very stiff and solid legs. Freaked my out a bit, like tree trunks they were! Going down now though.
*Saw the sunrise over the sticky out bit of Australia!
*Flew over the Himalayas!
*Didn't pay airport tax!
*Hostel's nice and has a cat! And there's weird birds which make awesome noises. In dire need of a bird book. There's birds and I don't know what they are!~ Can't be doing with that. Bell birds probably. But also chaffinches, sparrows, starlings and blackbirds. They flew a long way!
*Got hungry so got on a bus to Sky City only I went the wrong way. Had a Burger King which was OK but weird and tasted a lot different to UK ones. Don't like foreign food!
*Ended up taking a tour of the city on a bus going the wrong way to what I thought it was. Only wanted to go down the road!
*Off to wander around the city now. See the sky tower, museum, harbour and whatnot. Going to the zoo tomorrow. Probably the only way I'll see a kiwi.

Toodle oo.